Consider this: the difference between enjoying, dare I say loving, every task and dreading your day and to do list may be more within our reach than we realize.
Hear me out: I know that life often, if not usually, is made up of things we wouldn't gleefully wake up and choose to do if we had complete carte blanche over our daily activities. Whether it's the big things, like not enjoying your work or dreading your commute, to the tiny things, like scrolling for 5 more minutes to procrastinate your nighttime skin care and oral routine because--let's face it--it's positively boring slapping on a cream or brushing the same tiny area while staring off into space night after night. If we're not careful, everything in between can become a real drag as well and before you know it the weekly grocery trip sounds like an absolute pain and chores around the house get a half-baked why-am-I-even-bothering effort.
While these things may not seem inherently fun, romantic, or exciting by nature, the trouble with allowing more and more of our daily activities to carry a negative connotation (we've all caught ourselves reciting the classics: "I don't want to, why do I have to do this, I can't wait for the weekend" etc.) is that it shrinks the amount of our lives that we enjoy and feel present in to miniscule proportions. While vacations, extravagant outings/events, milestones, and brunchy weekends are wonderful, they only make up a tiny fraction of our lives. The rest of our days are filled with moments and activities that we might take for granted and zombie through, or worse, even dread.
The problem with the love/dread approach is that, by default, unless you're spending MOST of your time doing things you love, you automatically dread the rest. Looking back on the last year, for example, you may not remember much of what you did other than a few highlights and carry a general feeling of dissatisfaction. And this feeling is indeed genuine, after all, if we are not feeling satisfied by many of our daily activities.
But what if we could feel satisfied with every day? What if we could feel more joy and gratitude in all things that we do, from taking out the trash to reading a book? What if we could look back on the last year and be filled with satisfaction and warm memories?
While not everything in life is within our control, much of the way in which we experience it is. All of the things mentioned above: gratitude, feelings of joy and satisfaction, or recalling great memories have little to do with what is actually happening and much to do with our experience as it is happening.
Let's break that difference down in tactical terms. Take the example of needing to read and take notes on 4 textbook chapters for an upcoming exam. Many of us have been there: the dread, boredom, procrastination, desire to web search the answers instead of doing the reading... all of our natural human tendencies take over. I'm getting stressed just thinking about it.
Now picture this: you remind yourself that you value yourself and care about adding new knowledge and expanding your capacity. You note that you're grateful for the opportunity and ability to learn new things. You schedule a study date with yourself and take 2 minutes to create an outline of things you can do to romanticize your experience and feel cozy, comfortable, and excited to complete your study date. Quickly, a few ideas come to mind:
- you decide to play an ambiance video in the background that reminds you of your favorite place or a place that always makes you feel focused and at ease
- you have some binaural beats, lofi, or jazz in the background to elevate your experience
- you decide to treat yourself to your favorite coffee (made at home or grabbed out), a freshly brewed cup of tea, or even just a glass of water (maybe infused with a lemon slice) in your favorite aesthetic glass/tumbler
- you gather your stationary before starting so your experience is designed to support you--from your favorite pen to your sticky notes for jotting down ideas or marking pages
- you grab your favorite sweater or cozy blanket
- you light a warmly flickering candle or spritz an aromatherapy mist to prepare your space and help your mind shift into focus mind by tapping into the power of the olfactory (sense of smell) system
Picture all of that for a moment--a bit different, right? I could visualize myself enjoying the process and closing the book at the end of the study session feeling so satisfied and grateful. A cozy memory of a study date that can go in my journal and potentially help me look forward to next time.
Aside from a few minutes of planning and perhaps another few of prep to gather your items and set the scene for yourself, this shift is entirely within our reach. Imagine intentionally redesigning all of your activities with this mindset of enjoying and romanticizing each moment and consider how amazing it would be to both look back with joy and look forward to each day & activity with excitement and contentment, knowing that you can create a beautiful enjoyable experience for yourself. This is the shift that changed my life and helped me go from enjoying 10-20% of my life to feeling satisfied and in love with the majority of it.
Let's try one more of my favorite examples: doing house chores. Ugh. I would've looked cross at anyone that told me they enjoyed doing chores. And yet, each of us likely have hours worth of chores that need to be done each week in order to live the clean, organized, and stress-free life that we want.
How might we romanticize chores?
- making a cute cleaning bucket with all of your supplies in one place so you can zoom around like a pro and cut down on exhausting wasted time
- preparing a podcast, music playlist, audiobook, or playlist of YouTube videos you can listen to while you tidy to keep your mind engaged while your body is moving
- have a designated cleaning routine where you set your phone in focus mode (complete with an aesthetic background that motivates you), pour yourself a refreshing beverage (Poppi probiotic sodas over ice are my current obsession), and put on a nourishing hand lotion underneath your cleaning gloves for a touch of pampering
- finish resetting your space by setting a new intention in each freshly cleaned room, mist with a room spray to refresh the air, and something kind to yourself after completing each task, thanking yourself for showing up and doing something for yourself and your space
Of course, don't forget to create moments and opportunities to treat and yourself for all of the ways in which you show up and follow through. My favorite ways to do this range from enjoying my favorite ice cream while watching a show in the tub, playing some great music while working on my hobbies, or going on a shopping, lunch, or coffee date with a friend or just to enjoy time by myself. Get creative, consider how you can be kind to yourself each day.
So, here’s the real deal: the way we experience our daily lives can be transformed with a little intention and creativity. It’s not just about getting through the to-do list but about finding moments of joy and satisfaction in the mundane. By consciously shifting our perspective and adding a touch of romance to our routines, we can turn even the most dreaded tasks into something enjoyable.
Think about it: what if every day, from the big milestones to the small rituals, could be infused with a bit more joy? Imagine looking back on your year and feeling a genuine sense of fulfillment, not just because of the highlights but because you found beauty in the everyday moments too.
This shift isn’t about drastically changing everything overnight. It’s about making small, thoughtful adjustments that make life feel a bit more delightful. Whether it’s setting up a cozy study space, finding pleasure in chores, or simply treating yourself kindly, these little changes can make a world of difference.
So why not give it a try? Embrace the power of intention and romanticizing every moment to see how it transforms your daily experience. Turn your routine tasks into moments of joy, and watch as your perspective shifts from dreading the day to savoring each moment. This is the shift that helped me go from merely surviving to genuinely thriving, and I’m excited for you to experience the same.
Here’s to finding delight in the everyday and loving the life you live, one moment at a time. Evoke your best epoch.